The Best Party Idea- Hands Down!

When you’re in charge of planning an upcoming celebration, there can be a bit of pressure to pull off the perfect celebration for the person/honorable occasion. You’re looking for something that will keep everyone connected and engaged. You care about your people and want something that makes your guests get comfortable while having an experience that they’ll remember for a long time.

Better yet, you want something that will make them pull out their phones, take pictures and video snippets for their own social media. Yes, it’s that last part that let’s you know that you’ve pulled it off special.

Did you know that hiring a professional henna artist for your next celebration, gathering or special occasion is easier than you think? It’s a novel experience that most likely 95% of your guest list haven’t ever experienced it. And trust me, they want that novel experience.

But isn’t henna for traditional eastern culture weddings you ask? It is if you’re part of the culture but if you’re not henna serves everybody in a lot of different ways. It’s fun, celebratory and exciting for anyone that chooses to experience it. It’s not a one size fits all.

But isn’t it just for women? You ask. Nope, but because most henna is shown from a wedding perspective, it’s understandable that this is a misconception. A good henna artist can design for all genders.

If you’re local click here: Plan a Party with Mind Body Henna

Here’s a comprehensive guide on how to find and hire the right henna artist for your special occasion.

1. Determine the Event Details: Before beginning your search, clarify the date, time and duration of the event. This info is crucial for the henna artist to schedule their services accordingly.

2. Define your preferences: Some artist specialize in more traditional patterns while others excel in modern or fusion styles. Look at Pinterest or do a Google search to have a clear idea of what envision for your event.

3. Finding the Right Henna Artist: Seek recommendations for friends or family. Explore online platforms, social media and review websites to find artist with positive testimonials and portfolios that match your preferences.

4. Ensure that the artist uses high quality henna: Seek an artist that uses only natural henna paste and follows hygienic practices. This is crucial so that your guests are safe from the potential risks that imitation henna can bring such as allergic reactions or skin issues. Ask about the artist’s experience and their ability to adapt their skills to various design requests for both men and women.

5. Pricing and Contracts: Get a quote and discuss pricing structures including event rates or hourly rates. Carefully review and sign a service agreement outlining all the terms and conditions.

6. Confirm and follow-up: Stay in touch and ask questions prior to the event including any set up requirements or last minute changes.

Henna at any celebration is always a HUGE hit! Guests want to experience something different. They love to experience it with other first timers or with those who haven’t done it since they were teenagers. At parties henna is a great icebreaker and conversation starter.

A henna experience will elevate your next celebration!

XO,

Mind Body Henna

Make Your Next Retreat Stand Out: 5 Reasons to Have a Henna Artist at Your Next Retreat

With a bazillion retreats out there for people to choose from related to spirituality, wellness, healing, mindset, how will you get yours to be just a little bit different and connect with your guests as well as them to one another?

Retreats are an amazing gift for guests to reconnect to themselves, meet like minded people, and reset their exhausted nervous system. Many retreats typically  will have options for self care such as tarot readers, massage, skin care, energy healing, and more.

And while location and surroundings do matter there’s also another major component that may be missing- retreat uniqueness. Guests want to be surprised and they want to experience something that maybe they’ve never experienced before that makes them feel bold, adventurous, beautiful, badass, and especially loved.

Henna is for everyone in every geographical region around the world. It’s unique for both men and women. It’s celebratory. It’s healing. It’s a safe, temporary, plant-based body art and let me tell you, people LOVE to experience it especially in a safe, community setting such as a retreat.

Here are the top 5 reasons henna needs to be a part of your next retreat.

5. They’ll be reminded why they came to your retreat and what they learned. They’ll also be talking about it to their friends, family and colleagues.
They get to take it home! How many experiences actually physically leave with you?  Their henna design & experience will be absorbed into their skin for up to 2 weeks after their experience.

4. Custom experience- What this means is that you get to create the type of experience that your guests will have. Will it be an intention word? A meaningful symbol? Or something that they get to choose on their own. It can be meaningful or it can just be something that makes them feel magical, confident and seen. Henna has a way of giving a wide range of feels to all that choose to wear it.

3. Henna raises your energy and promotes healing- Yes this one is true. After receiving henna people feel into their bodies and a deeper level and experience a kinder more accepting feeling towards themselves and those around them. When people feel adorned their spirits are lifted, energy is raised and humans come back to their natural state of love and kindness. This one happens naturally!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. Connective experience with themselves and their new community. Once the structured parts of the retreat end for the day, guests can really get to know each other through a shared henna experience. It’s amazing to watch people let their guards down, relax and get curious and become a playful version of themselves when they have an opportunity to do so. Can you picture it- the smiles, the laughs, the support, and the giddiness. Guests LOVE to connect through this shared experience.

1. Novel experiences elevates your retreat and makes it a little bit different than the rest. This one is the no-brainer. Who else is adding henna to a retreat in this way? Your guests want to be surprised and experience something special and unique- just for them. For many of them, this will likely be their first henna experience and what better way than to incorporate into your retreat to let them know that you cared enough to give them an unforgettable novel, custom experience that raised their energy, connected them to their community and was able to take home. 

Retreat guests will absolutely love the time, care and attention that you’ve given by gifting them this experience along with all the personal transformations and connections that they’ll make. Your retreat will be different and all because you found something so fitting, yet so different and novel to bring everyone together in this shared experience.

XO,

Mind Body Henna

Your Free Ultimate Guide to Understanding Henna

Our curiosity makes us human and humans love to learn. Living in the information age has made it a little uneasy for us to want to ask each other questions. “Google it” is a common response to any question. And while that maybe the easy way to get general information, it’s also sometimes very overwhelming. There’s a lot of conflicting information out there. So who is right? Who do you trust to give you the best answers to your questions?

As a professional henna artist that works many events and parties, I find that guests have so many questions regarding what henna is and what is actually going on their skin.

Here are a few of the most common questions that I hear:

• What is henna?

• What’s so dangerous about buying it online?

• Where do you get it?

• How long does it take to dry?

• What is black henna?

• What is chemical henna?

• Can I wash it off in an hour?

• How long do I need to wear it?

• How do I take care of it?

• How long will the stain last?

• And so much more…

There’s a lot of misleading information available that’s why I wanted to give you a complete guide to help your understanding about what henna really is and how it works so that you can feel that you have something to refer back to should you need it. My main mission is to provide education about henna to the person who is thinking of getting their first henna and it’s also for the person who may have grown up with henna at cultural events but still wants to know the details about it. The reason behind my ‘why’ of providing this information is because your skin’s safety is my first priority.

Unfortunately, there are many different types of henna on the market and even some well-intentioned henna artists out there are not aware of the dangers of buying henna online or other local stores.

So here you go! I hope you enjoy reading and learning all these different topics about henna and feel empowered to keep asking questions and have a guide to refer back to. Please share and spread the word!

XO,

Christine

Henna: Off The Beaten Path of Self Care

Guest Blog Post by:

Client- Nicole Bills

I am a Healer and Life Guidance coach who was approaching a new chapter in life where both my children were becoming adults. “Who was I in this new chapter?” was a difficult question to sit with. As I had more time to myself, I became aware that I did feel worn out and bedraggled. 

Realizing that I had started to become lost in the hustle and bustle of rearing a family, maintaining a marriage, and running a business - it happens even to the well-trained of us! 

Taking time to reflect within, I decided to try and implement novel self-care with henna tattoos. 

I chose henna because it encompasses self-nurturing through physical touch and adornment. The ”me” at any stage deserves to feel beautiful and worthy. 

It’s become one of my go to rituals when getting ready for an upcoming girls trip. After all the weeks of stress from group planning, coordinating, & packing I get to pause, clear my ruminating thoughts, and receive restorative pampering -  especially important when I’m headed out on a camping trip!

Finding Christine, a henna artist in Austin, Texas, was providential. I am grateful that she took time to explain the cultural ties and historical importance of Henna. It’s knowledge that’s given me confidence when people stop and compliment the art, it’s an appreciation of culture that I can pass onward. 

I feel cared for in each session, from Christine greeting me with a warm cup of chai, to holding a sacred energetic space that allowed me to open up, reset my intentions, and love on myself. 

If you'd never considered this type of self nurturing, I'd definitely try it to help you venture out. and offer yourself something a little different.

Henna's The Ultimate Beauty "Pick Me Up"- 8 Reasons Why You Need To Try It.

You definitely don’t need yet another beauty service on your calendar that you have to keep up with. I know this to be true because I also live it. Sometimes we are looking for something more simplified for a quick feel-good experience that doesn’t need an upkeep.

Many people are finding this exact feel in a private henna session.

Gone are the days where you need to be at a festival or at the beach just to get henna designs. Henna is a “go to” for so many reasons without any occasion necessary.

Here’s the top 8 reasons why henna is considered the new beauty “pick me up”.

1. Henna makes you feel confident and energized. If you’ve never had it before, you’ll feel the coolness of the paste on your skin and this physical feeling along with the beauty of it energizes you for the rest of the day. 

2. You’ll look gorgeous! That’s an obvious one but one to not be overlooked.

Henna supplements you as a natural accessory to your unique look and style. From photoshoots, to vacations, to special occasions, or a girl’s night in or out, henna radiates and adds to the natural you.

3. You don’t have to keep it up. Unlike our hair appointments or nails, henna is temporary and fades as your skin naturally exfoliates over 1-2 weeks. It’s not meant to last forever.

4. Variety! Yes, ma’am. You can always get something different. You can also choose where on the body that you’d like your design. Larger designs on the legs, back, arms and chest are becoming more common. Hand or feet designs are always there too. There’s different regional styles of henna too such as South Asian, Khaleeji, Moroccan, fusion, and more.

5. It won’t hurt your skin. Not only that but henna actually feels good when applied to the skin. It has a relaxing effect on the person wearing it. No needles, no burning, no poking- nothing. In addition to this, henna is safe on the skin because I personally make it with all plant-based organic ingredients.

6. It’s an experience. That’s right. An experience can never be lost, broken or stolen like the last thing that you bought on Amazon. No need to collect it, store it, or clean it. Who wouldn’t want that?

7. It’s novel, of course. You can’t get henna services on any corner of town. While there are highly experienced henna artists all over the world and in the US, there aren’t many of us in each city as compared to other types of artists. This makes you stand out from the crowd because it’s different in the best sense of the way.

8. If you love attention, not gonna lie, you’ll get plenty. I learned this the hard way when I started wearing henna. Henna brings people together and it brings people to you. Complete strangers will strike up a conversation with you about your henna and ask you questions about it. Henna is still quite novel outside of larger cities in the US so it’s a big conversation starter.  But if you’re a person that doesn’t like attention from strangers, don’t worry. We can always map out a design on an area of the body that can be covered up (back, legs, shoulders, etc).

There’s so many more reasons that I can come up with but out of respect for your time, these are the top favorites as polled from my past clients. I’d love to see you at one of my locations here in Austin, TX to create something that you’ll love. Locations are in NW Austin and in Central Austin for you’re convenience. Have you ever had henna before? If not, what’s holding you back? If you have questions? Email me: christine@mindbodyhenna.com. Let’s get you decorated beyond something you’ve gotten years ago at a festival.

You can book sessions here by time (15, 30 and 60 minutes or greater)

www.mindbodyhenna.com

XO,

Christine

The Real Reason that I Became a Henna Artist

People ask me all the time, “How did you get into doing henna?” And “Is it because you married into Indian culture?”. The answer to that last question is both “yes and no”. The marriage part was just my introduction to the art itself and the cultural excuse that I used to hide behind.

 Here’s my story:

 Nobody’s healing journey is a straight upward arrow, and I’m no different. Before working my way into becoming a professional henna artist, I earned a Master’s degree and worked as a Pediatric Speech Pathologist. And although parts of working with children with communication disorders were very rewarding, it was hard for me because there wasn’t much space for creativity. After years of practice in different environments, it all felt very mechanical and I became unfulfiled but I did it anyway because..….life responsibilities. When my kids were born, I stayed home with them until they were old enough to go to school. As life took an unpredictable turn and I ended up needing to homeschool my kids and did so for 7 years. In those years, to keep myself sane, I began exploring art mediums. I painted and doodled as a way to relax and give myself some “me time” Art was all very play-like with no rules and I loved it! Art practices felt healing and it slowly began waking me up to welcome my own creativity. 

I painted, woodworked and drew repetitive henna-like designs on canvases, coffee cups and even my bathroom walls. Eventually I tried buying some henna and found it very frustrating to work with. It wasn’t as easy as I hoped it would be. Since I married into Indian culture, there were always occasions for me to wear henna so I didn’t need to learn how to do it well.

Aside from loving the way henna looked, I always loved the way henna made me feel. Henna gives off this empowering, bold, badassery feeling to whoever chooses to wear it. I often wanted to wear it more and more to hold onto that feeling that was hard for me to put into words. I felt a need to wear it beyond cultural occasions and so I did.

I noticed that when I would wear henna that I would get a lot of head turns, attention and questions about it in public. I started to notice the uncomfortable feeling that I had with strangers coming up to me, touching and holding my hands, grabbing my arm as I walked by, bending down and rubbing my leg and giving me compliments and starting up awkward conversations with me. Of course it was all innocent and curiosity driven but I was uncomfortable AF. It was in those moments that I realized that I didn’t want that type of attention that henna brought. The outside physical and verbal attention brought me feelings of anxiousness and I hated it. So I stopped wearing it- for years. As these years passed, and I was working with a therapist, she helped me to figure out that my anxious trigger was an unhealed fear-based, reaction to being touched without permission from childhood sexual traumas.

She also made me understand that I used henna as a catalyst in my healing negative body image stemming from the abuse. Over the years, henna taught me how to learn to be with the attention that came along with it while learning how to set boundaries with people wanting to touch me (while I was wearing henna) without permission. Henna body art helped me grow and nurture myself so that I could mother myself into more wholeness and pop the top of my untapped creative potential. In time, I began to create with ease and have appreciation for my own body. It became clear that I knew I wanted to use henna as a source of healing and nurturing sourse for other women.

Most people that I come in contact with learn about henna from a friend/co-worker with ties to South Asian or Middle Eastern culture. Today, in eastern cultures it’s worn mostly for specific celebratory occasions. But even in henna’s rich history, it was used as a means of healing and blessings before anything else. To me, henna is healing, therapeutic and yes it’s magical! It helps women especially connect to their bodies. It can be a spiritual experience and a way to nurture ourselves. Henna is versatile and can just be worn because you want to feel pretty and feminine for no reason at all. But most of all, to me,  it is a celebration of self and my personal homecoming.

I love talking about henna and educating people about what it is and what it isn’t and allow them to decide for themselves if they wish to wear it. But most importantly, I do want to normalize wearing henna as another way to nurture and connect to our bodies. I asked for this healing. It was given and I’m forever grateful. 

If you have a specific way that you nurture your body, I’ll to hear about it in the comments.

Much love,

XX,

Christine

Is It *Really* Ok For You To Wear Henna?

This is the #1 question that I get asked at events collectively by Black, White and Latina women in a lowered, unsure, whispered voice- “Is ok for me to wear henna?” I definitely understand your need to know. That’s why I want to help clear up what might be a misunderstanding for some.

 Let’s say you are also someone that loves the idea of henna, loves how it looks on the skin, wants to wear it but feels it may not be…...well…...appropriate or respectful to other cultures. Maybe you feel that since you weren’t raised in a henna wearing culture that it’s not ok or that it’s only for people from South Asia, Africa or the Middle East. Or maybe you feel that it’s disrespectful to wear henna because you don’t know much about it and think that you’re doing something wrong or possibly even being offensive. Yikes!

This blog post isn’t my personal opinion but instead a collective gathering of perspectives of women of color from various regions, religions and cultural backgrounds that grew up wearing henna and now have become modern henna artists of today.

What you really want to know is: Is wearing henna cultural appropriation? This is a question that doesn’t have one clear cut answer and it also depends on who you ask. Within the many global henna artist communities that range  from women of various cultures, religions and races, cultural appropriation and wearing henna are viewed as two very separate things.

Many henna artists from all over the world believe that henna is available and wearable to everyone regardless if they’re of a culture that wears henna for cultural or religious occasions. Henna is seen at its core as an art medium and it is welcomed to be used by or worn by anyone that enjoys art. Henna is also meant to be enjoyed by wearing it with or without any particular occasion in mind. However, as we already know, women within eastern cultures enjoy wearing henna particularly assigned to holidays, special occasions and observances during various times of the year.

It’s also typical for people that have grown up in western cultures that are learning about henna to come from a place of wanting to be respectful, understanding and knowledgeable about what henna is.  And why it’s seen by the global henna artist community to be more than ok to wear henna not just as part of cultural experience but also as a beauty treatment as somebody would get their nails, hair,  lashes, eyebrows or make-up done professionally.

A relatable association could be this: Over the years, I personally have known families that were Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, and Sikh. Even though these families don’t celebrate Christmas as part of their religion, many families still took part in certain aspects of fun Christmas-related rituals such as: gift giving, tree decorating and enjoying some traditional foods. These families were taking part in the fun aspects of a certain time of year. These fun Christmas-related experiences aren’t owned by anyone and therefore are free to be enjoyed by all. With that being said, gift-giving can happen for any reason or occasion. Turkey dinner is not only for particular gratitude holidays but can be enjoyed any day of the year by anyone that wants it.

This is how the global henna artist community sees the enjoyment of giving and receiving henna for those that are both tied to henna through culture and those that aren’t. Now that you know the answer to the questions that was posed at the beginning of this post, I hope that you’ll feel that you can also enjoy having your henna done without the uncertainty in the back of your mind.

Or if you’re ready for your first henna session, I’d love to meet you and give your first henna experience. You can book your session here: www.mindbodyhenna.com/book-now .

XO,

Mind Body Henna

Five Ways To Tell the Difference Between Natural Henna and Unnatural Henna (bought online or in a retail store)

Why is store bought henna bad for you? What is natural henna?  Isn’t all henna natural? If it’s not natural then what is it?

These are all very common questions to anyone that is interested in wearing henna.It’s very common that some guests book a session knowing very little about henna and why should they? It’s similar to trusting your hair stylist or nail salon to some degree.

You like what services they are offering and you would like to try it out too.

If you’re like most people, you’re here because you love wearing henna or you saw it online and  you want to learn more.  Maybe you’re thinking about booking a session and trying it out for yourself.

But as mentioned in a previous post, not all henna is natural therefore making it potentially harmful to the skin due to the ingredients that are in mass produced henna found in retail stores.

How can you tell the difference between natural henna and premade toxic henna?

Here’s what you need to know to protect yourself.

There are a few ways to tell the difference between natural henna and black henna (premade in bulk and sold online or in retail stores)

1. The smell! Natural henna smells good. It smells earthy mixed with good quality essential oils.

2. The texture is smooth- not grainy and lays well on the skin.. It should stay on your skin well because handmade henna uses sugar to help it adhere to the skin.

3. Packaging -Unnatural henna is sold in large foil-like wrapping written in Arabic or Hindi.

4. Natural henna always stains the skin in progression. A person must wear henna paste on the skin for 6-8 hours. The stain will appear bright orange after paste removal and then will gradually darken up over the next 48 hours.

5. One final way is to simply ask the artist if they make their own henna paste. If not, move on.

If you google “henna skin burns” you will see pictures of kids and adults who have had horrible skin burns and permanent scarring as a result of the use of store bought henna. Many times this may take place on vacations, festivals and art shows. 

The integrity of the henna that I use is important to us because your skin’s safety is highest priority.

Only the safest ingredients are used in my henna paste and I’m here for your questions.

What questions do you have for me about natural henna ?

What has your previous experience been with henna?

What You Don't Know About Natural Henna Can Actually Hurt You

henna artist, specialty Henna, organic henna, natural henna, henna, henna paste

Nowadays there are so many different places to buy henna cones (applicators). With a few simple clicks, henna can be easily bought on Amazon, Etsy, Facebook Groups, inside of retail craft stores and some South Asian grocery stores. However, the average consumer trusts that the henna that is bought online would be completely fine to put on their skin. After all, it’s legal to sell it, right?

What most well-intentioned consumers do not realize is that henna bought in many of these stores have one thing in common- it’s actually not natural henna. In fact, the “henna” that is sold in these types of stores actually may not have any real henna in these applicators at all.

Here’s what you need to know. If henna is sold online or at a physical location, and that henna sits out in the open or on shelf then most likely it is something that we henna artists call “black henna”. Black henna is the name given to henna applicators that are sold in mass production in a box with cheap-looking packaging and is shipped from outside of the US, with toxic solvents (such as: gasoline, kerosene, and paint thinners) as well as PPD which is the chemical found in black hair dye. It can create painful chemical skin burns and permanent scarring.

As shocking as this is, this is why is it vital that you only wear natural henna. Here are the top 4 reasons why natural henna is the only way to go:

1. Natural henna feels good on your skin.

2. It is made by hand by skilled, knowledgeable henna artist.

3. Natural henna smells earthy and pleasant because it’s made with therapeutic grade essential oils, fresh henna powder (dried henna leaves only), sugar and water.

4. All ingredients in natural henna are plant-based plus a liquid (such as water or lemon juice).

It’s all about the ingredients with natural henna. Mind Body Henna makes and uses only our own natural henna on every guest. Your skin and safety is our priority.

Much love to you,

Christine

XO

How Boudoir Henna Enhances Both Self-Connection and Healing- and Critical Questions to Ask Yourself.

Photo Credit: Felicia Reed Photography

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Henna artist credit: Many Roberge @wickedgoodhenna

You’ve been thinking about getting boudoir henna or even a boudoir photoshoot to remember and enhance the experience but then the feelings of body insecurities bubble to the surface once you become serious about actually doing the thing.

Those old voices in our heads say things to us like -“Those stretch marks are too obvious and just hideous”, “I know this won’t look good on me”, and “I’m going to wait to lose 10 lbs, 20 lbs (or insert your magic number here) and then I’ll do x, y, and z”. We continuously put ourselves off until we think we can meet some measure of ourselves that is deemed loveable and acceptable.

We need to learn where that voice really comes from and learn to hear it but not listen to it. Hear it as an observer but not internalizing it. Let’s be real here. This voice is really a mild form of self abuse to deprive us of things that we really want to seek pleasure from. In my years, I’ve learned that each and every time I’ve wanted to do something, I’ve found that I literally waited 5-10 years before I gave myself permission to do it.

It’s not that I even changed anything about myself at all. As my growth mindset and self development work began shifting my own inner dialogue, I gently learned to be an observer of this voice. I acknowledged it but took it’s power away by asking myself some very critical questions.

Photo Credit: Felicia Reed Photography

Let’s put our conscious thoughts in the driver’s seat in 2021.

Can you answer these questions honestly?:

Whose voice is it that speaks in your head about your body?

Where does that voice actually come from?

How would you feel if a boudoir session gave you permission to be decorated on parts of you that you’ve rejected and largely disconnected from?

What if you enjoyed the experience and giggled at the fact that it felt amazing on your skin?

What if the experience allowed you to embrace those parts of your body that you’ve subconsciously disconnected from for years?

What if it gave you the beginnings of a loving self connection?

How would that make you feel?

If you are even remotely thinking of having a boudoir henna session be it for yourself or to surprise your partner or just because you want to and you’re ready, I urge you to listen to your inner voice. It’s there for a reason. Your inner voice doesn’t lie. It is your authentic self and it wants your love and attention. When you allow your body to be decorated, you are saying to yourself that your love and accept ALL. OF. YOU.

Boudoir henna (and casual henna sessions) does many things for us and it’s an act of loving exactly who you are at this exact time in your life, whatever your body looks like at whatever age you may be.

Don’t you want to look back, smile and say “Hey, I broke through those unkind voices in my head and did the thing and it felt AMAZING!” 

Rest assured. Your confidence will soar.

Much love to you.

Christine,

XX

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As a Woman, Mother and Wife, Why I Put Myself First- It’s not what you think!

I’m not going to give you the airplane metaphor of putting my oxygen mask on first before tending to others. I’m not even going to tell you that I’m a better mother and wife after I fill my cup first before tending to my family. I am a woman that wears the masks of mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. And while it’s taken me time to figure things out, I’ve been putting myself first and before anyone else in my life. Here are things that I’ve done in recent years and continue to do: I take solitude weekend trips, girlfriend vacations, day trips, indulging massages, healing reflexology and yummy skin care treatments. I treat myself to a new outfit as needed and take drives and hikes as often as I desire. Coffee dates with friends and lunches to new places to explore the city and areas that are well away from neighborhood. I feed my soul as needed. Nobody else is going to do it for me.

For quite a few years now (especially now that my children are not physically needy), I’ve kept it my dirty little secret that I put myself first in most of my daily decisions, activities, wants and needs. It’s a strategic plan. I’ve kept this part of my being and mental health practices to myself because in the beginning, I did harbor shame, guilt and self judgment around what others might view as selfish, self-seeking, self-indulgent, and self-centered.

And I was practicing ALL of that.

But really I was just judging myself. And you know what? That is when I really began to peel away layers of self-judgement and make my self-care a nonnegotiable. Why? Because nobody else is responsible for my needs. Nobody’s coming to take to load off of me.

Back in 2015, after an argument with my husband in noticing how he took time for himself to do what he needed for HIS own self-care. He had no regrets, guilt or shame. I had to stop dead in my tracks and ask myself: Why didn’t he feel guilty? Why did he think he deserved to have regular self-care? He didn’t seem to feel any self-judgement. I wanted him to feel all of those feeling that I felt because I didn’t want to feel alone in my guilt. Women and especially moms are supposed to be givers- not takers. It’s been a work in progress over the past 5 years in learning to say “yes” to myself.

Learning to take the time that I need BEFORE I need it, BEFORE I implode, BEFORE I ooze nastiness upon the people that I love the most and BEFORE the negative inner dialogue settles in. In that same argument with my husband, he asked me directly “What is it EXACTLY that you want?”. I just stared at him with wide eyes…...blank…...frozen. I couldn’t answer his question. I didn’t know. I didn’t have any answers for myself. I never allowed myself to think about what I wanted. It never seemed that it was even possible to think about myself after becoming a full-time mother, without any family and community support.

Asking myself that same question that my husband asked me, literally changed my life. It forced me to get really clear about what it was that I actually wanted. None of my family or friends is going to say to me “Hey,(insert social role here) you’ve worked hard today. You should take a break and go to a movie or get a massage.” Nobody is going to take less from me either or stop asking me to do things with or for them. Nobody is going to think “I don’t want her to make dinner tonight for the millionth time so I’ll just fend for myself this evening.” Nobody is going to anticipate my wants or needs. That’s my responsibility. Does that mean that my family is ungrateful for me? Not at all. They are just going with the flow that I helped to create when our lives were different years ago. I now ask for what I need from them when I need it. I don’t wait for anyone to anticipate my needs. When your kids are little, your needs may look like a 15 or 30 minute walk alone in the neighborhood, or an hour to chat on the phone with a friend-uninterrupted. It may not seem like it’s worth the effort to carve out such little time, but trust that it is and it can be just what you need to recharge yourself and raise your energy to connect in that way with yourself and those close to you.

Learning and knowing this and implementing it is two different things. I had to take action. Nobody was coming for me to grant me this wish. I have to believe that I’ve earned it and that I deserved it. It is entitlement! While I wish I hadn’t suffered in the early days of child rearing, It’s now my time. I’m not training to be an employee. I am the CEO of my life. I’m not waiting around for a boss to notice me and give me a raise. I’m in charge, and it’s full on my responsibility to meet my own needs. I’ve decided to change career paths in recent years and open my own henna art business here in Austin, Texas. I’ve been wanting to do this. Nobody else is going to do it for me. Nobody’s coming for me to tell me that I did a good job, or that I worked hard. Nobody’s coming to tell me that I deserve a gold star. Everything is negotiable. I don’t do this to be better for those in my life. I do because I care about myself. If they reap the side effects, that’s the cherry on top.

It’s up to me, and my daughter and son are watching.

What I didn't know becoming a Henna Artist

There’s comes a time when a person feels a strong motivation to begin something new in their life or pursue a passionate interest. It could’ve been a strong desire to change unhealthy behaviors or a desire to learn a new skill that has been nudging at them for years to go deeper in the pursue of knowledge. Whatever the case may be, they’ve decided to go for it and take the leap.

This happened to me as I slowly decided to pursue the study of henna in the medium of body art.

I began drawing for myself and on myself only. I wasn’t ready to share anything that I drew in my sketchbooks and certainly not  put an actual henna design on another person. I never called myself a henna artist. That would feel way to vulnerable. Over time that insecurity changed. I felt more confident and began to care less and less about the critiques of my work and especially the thoughts of other people that had an opinion of me once felt comfortable labeling myself an artist. Familiar women came to me and were seeking me out to put henna designs on them as a way of self-care and celebration for no particular reason. These women were also coming into themselves and saw henna body art as a way to feel good about themselves. Over time, unfamiliar women sought me out through my website and social media platforms. 

I began to learn that when I sat with other women and provided this unconventional service, the women always revealed that having henna designs made them feel loved, energized, beautiful and secretly seductive. Wrapped in these feelings, this service allowed them to unfold their tangled thoughts and allowed feelings rise to the surface. These women permitted themselves to open up and they reveal uncomfortable thoughts about themselves and especially their bodies. I wasn’t prepared to be the container that they needed.

I didn’t know that I would come to wear this hat of trusted therapist and wholehearted unconditional listener. 

I didn’t know how deeply women needed to be heard, to be held, to have a safe secure place to unveil their secrets, dreams, and vulnerabilities. 

I didn’t know that there’s a deep level of trust that must be in place when working with other women and their bodies.

I didn’t know that trusted bonds and friendships would be born from connected exchange of energy that took place during our sessions.

Perhaps they also didn’t even know these thoughts and feelings existed in their hearts and minds about themselves and their lives until relaxation and self connection organically grounded them.

I’ve laughed, cried, and celebrated together with these ladies, but mostly I listen. I hear them and feel their celebrations as well as their pain. I’m honored to wear that hat of trusted, “non fix-it” therapist.  I’ve learned that very few people are seeking out solutions from others. Rarely am I asked for advice or suggestions. My guests already had their answers. They just didn’t know it at first. Recognizing what they needed unfolded naturally. These women needed a nonjudgmental ear while they talked out some tangled thoughts.

Remaining present with these ladies has taught me a whole new way to be and a whole new way to show up for others even outside of my world of henna session. Remaining present is a learned skill that I’m honored and grateful to be able to be hold and a trusted way to serve my community.

Self Criticisms- We all do it.

Have you ever noticed how often you criticize yourself? Most likely, you haven’t thought much about because it’s so lightly but so frequently and unconsciously done. At times, it’s just something that we women do in our heads such as: “Ugh, DUH, why didn’t you know that?” Or we even voice self criticisms out loud to someone else that we barely even know. We may sit down at the hair salon and say “Ugh! This hair is so ugly and nasty. I can’t wait to get it cut.” It seems minor enough to express ourselves in an unpleasing way. After all, we have the right to this- it’s our own self, right? Of course, we do. But nobody ELSE better even think about doing this to us!

I have noticed that the more self criticisms we allow, the more of the magnetic energy that it seems to have upon us giving way to increased frequencies of self negative thoughts. We are inadvertently creating low self-esteem and a smallness that we unconsciously allow to take over inner dialogue.

Let’s pretend a self criticism is a small scab and each time we say something unfavorable to ourselves, that that same scab gets lifted from our skin just a little. Over time, negative comment after comment the seemingly “small” negative things we say to ourselves about ourselves, begins to pull that scab off the skin creating a lifelong scar. This self-inflicted scar can even represent a neural pathway within our brains. We are literally rewiring our brains to teach ourselves that it’s ok to be verbally abusive. Now, you know you would never ever allow anyone to bully you, abuse you, or ridicule you in the way that you unconsciously do it to yourself. If an actual person did this to you, you would defend yourself, tell them off or never allow yourself to share space with them again and cut off all access to you. You would cut that cord with that person or “friend” so fast because it’s so uncomfortable to hear these things about yourself.

But what about you? What are the rules when it’s YOU saying these things to yourself? While these self criticisms most likely stem from something in our childhood, we still have the responsibility to bring the awareness to our forefront to change our own narrative. I’ve gone through my own journey of unlearning this deeply unconscious habit. When I began seeing clients for henna, self criticisms were jumping out at me at each and every session. At first, it would trigger me and annoy me. I didn’t see in these ladies the negative things they saw in themselves.

Honestly, I hear it all during my henna sessions: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My fingers are ugly.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm too hairy⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm too wrinkled⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm too dark⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My feet are gross⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I hate my skin.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Or ladies are apologizing for just being as they are in appearance. I do hear myself sometimes in the ladies that I work with.

Some times it almost seemed as if women did this as soon as they sat down as a conversation starter because they didn’t know what else to say when they got in the chair. I didn’t judge them for this but it did get me thinking “Do I do this?” and “How often do I do this?” and “Where is this coming from?”

I slowly began to recognize it in myself. I was no different. We all did it for no real reason. The self criticisms brought so much self awareness out in me that I made a commitment that I would stop criticizing myself altogether. I had no idea that this was an enormous task because I had no clue that it was an everyday part of my inner dialogue. At a snail’s pace, over time and it has taken years that each time I recognized it in myself, I would say to myself “stop! there it is”. In order to change my behavior, I had a plan to replace it by saying something to myself that I admired.

This practice was extremely uncomfortable. I had PLENTY of daily opportunities. If a person really wants to change a behavior or habits, sometimes you have to take it moment by moment, situation by situation. It’s a true daily self-care practice. I looked back six months or a year from now and realize how different things became in my life. Old friends left and were organically replaced with loving souls that nurtured my spirit. With this, I began to notice that I began doing things for myself that otherwise I would’ve considered a “treat” or felt guilty for doing. Over time, self criticisms began to feel foreign and heavy and like that annoying acquaintance that you can’t wait to get away from.

Within my home studio, to bring awareness to all the beautiful women that I serve, I began to have a loose rule when women come and see me for their henna session.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It is this: "You're not allowed to criticize any part of yourself while you're here".⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I wanted to gently remind you to think of one thing today that you do love about yourself and/or your body. Your soul is a beautiful goddess and your body truly is a work of art.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀