There’s comes a time when a person feels a strong motivation to begin something new in their life or pursue a passionate interest. It could’ve been a strong desire to change unhealthy behaviors or a desire to learn a new skill that has been nudging at them for years to go deeper in the pursue of knowledge. Whatever the case may be, they’ve decided to go for it and take the leap.
This happened to me as I slowly decided to pursue the study of henna in the medium of body art.
I began drawing for myself and on myself only. I wasn’t ready to share anything that I drew in my sketchbooks and certainly not put an actual henna design on another person. I never called myself a henna artist. That would feel way to vulnerable. Over time that insecurity changed. I felt more confident and began to care less and less about the critiques of my work and especially the thoughts of other people that had an opinion of me once felt comfortable labeling myself an artist. Familiar women came to me and were seeking me out to put henna designs on them as a way of self-care and celebration for no particular reason. These women were also coming into themselves and saw henna body art as a way to feel good about themselves. Over time, unfamiliar women sought me out through my website and social media platforms.
I began to learn that when I sat with other women and provided this unconventional service, the women always revealed that having henna designs made them feel loved, energized, beautiful and secretly seductive. Wrapped in these feelings, this service allowed them to unfold their tangled thoughts and allowed feelings rise to the surface. These women permitted themselves to open up and they reveal uncomfortable thoughts about themselves and especially their bodies. I wasn’t prepared to be the container that they needed.
I didn’t know that I would come to wear this hat of trusted therapist and wholehearted unconditional listener.
I didn’t know how deeply women needed to be heard, to be held, to have a safe secure place to unveil their secrets, dreams, and vulnerabilities.
I didn’t know that there’s a deep level of trust that must be in place when working with other women and their bodies.
I didn’t know that trusted bonds and friendships would be born from connected exchange of energy that took place during our sessions.
Perhaps they also didn’t even know these thoughts and feelings existed in their hearts and minds about themselves and their lives until relaxation and self connection organically grounded them.
I’ve laughed, cried, and celebrated together with these ladies, but mostly I listen. I hear them and feel their celebrations as well as their pain. I’m honored to wear that hat of trusted, “non fix-it” therapist. I’ve learned that very few people are seeking out solutions from others. Rarely am I asked for advice or suggestions. My guests already had their answers. They just didn’t know it at first. Recognizing what they needed unfolded naturally. These women needed a nonjudgmental ear while they talked out some tangled thoughts.
Remaining present with these ladies has taught me a whole new way to be and a whole new way to show up for others even outside of my world of henna session. Remaining present is a learned skill that I’m honored and grateful to be able to be hold and a trusted way to serve my community.